Rudeness

I just came home from a weight watcher meeting. I joined in 1999 and have been up and down the same 10 pounds since then. Last week, after Yom Tov, (not fitting into last winter's clothes) I decided to go back. I am a life member and usually go once a month to "weigh in". If I am within 2 lbs of my goal I go free. Last week I was 5 lbs above goal and had to pay. So...I really tried hard this week and I was down to +2 above goal and didn't have to pay. Another woman says to me: "I don't understand why you come here," intimating that I don't need WW, which might be true in some people's minds, but when my clothes don't fit and my hubby says: "BubbyT, time lose a few." I jump back on the wagon. Why don't people just mind their own business??

It's not as rude as what happened to SephardiLady at www.orthonomics.blogspot.com/2006/10/rudest-most-unsolicited-advice-you.html but I was still annoyed at her rudeness!

"Walking in the Dark" Update

Good news. I have been in contact with Project Ezra. They are pushing this important issue up to the top of their "to do" list. They are thinking of having boxes of reflective vests, belts, or harnesses (they have to figure out which is best) in all the shuls for people to borrow on Friday nights. Now we just have to get people to use them.

If anyone has any input as to what to order, please comment. I know they look nerdy, but maybe we can push this as the "latest style" in Baltimore.

Tehillim request

Last night, a local 5 year old boy was playing on the playground at BJ’s in Owings Mills, and fell off. At the time, they thought he was ok, but when he went home, he started vomiting up blood. He ended up having emergency brain surgery last night at Hopkins.
Ephraim Moshe ben Baila Chaya

Walking in the dark on Shabbos

We are a "walking sakana". On Sukkos there was a terrible tragedy of a frum boy run down and killed by a drunk driver while crossing the street after shul in Philly. On Yom Kippur there was a 58 year old man crossing Queens Boulevard in Forest Hills, NY who was killed. We have no light in front of our shul. Shomrei Emunah. (I heard a rumor that one is coming). Kids and adults just run across, not looking, in their dark suits, coats, raincoats. We are all (me included, I hate the broken up sidewalks) guilty of walking in the streets, like we own them on Shabbos and Yom Tov. Maybe we should look into wearing reflective belts, shoulder harnesses or the like, to make us more visible at night? Is it halachically permissible?

Parents: watch your children cross. Don't let them cross alone when there is no light. Any comments on the matter would be appreciated.

Simchas Torah Memories

Down memory lane once again. As I have mentioned before, Adath Israel, the shul I grew up in was not particularly populated by shomer Shabbos families. Nevertheless, many people attended on Shabbos and Yom Tov. We had very active youth participation, many of whom, to my father A"H's credit, grew up to raise good frum families, both here and in Israel.

We were a strong group of teens, of all ages. We took it upon ourselves to "make" Simchas Torah for the shul. I remember one particular year we took over the shul. I made signs beforehand, informing the kahal that they were in Congregation Anshei Mishagoyim. The boys took over the davening, sermons, president's message etc (I guess we girls were the "audience").

Every year they had an "auction" before hakafos, auctioning off only the "ata Hareisa". The women all bandied together and every year "bought" one recital of "ata Hareisa" for my father, the Rabbi.

Once I got a little older, I got bored with staying in A.I. and I was already a camp goer and /or in college and had many friends in Boro Park/Flatbush so I headed out there every year for many years. I either spent Yom Tov at my Bubby's house, or in Flatbush with my friend Susie's family. For a few years, Yavneh, the OU Collegiate organization had a "shabbaton" or I guess "Simchaton" in B.P/Flatbush over the Yom Tov. We ate together, walked together, shul hopped, etc. Simchas Torah night we always walked to Boro Park from Flatbush. We all stood on the corner of 47th STreet and 14th Avenue in front of Machzikei Talmud Torah...crushed in a sea of people - having one big camp reunion. I was always told by "old" Boro Parkers that this was nothing compared to 47th Street between 12th and 13th Avenues in the "old days" when they closed off 47th Street in front of my Bubby's shteibel.

I remember seeing hakafos in a sefardi shul on Ocean Parkway. It was the first time I saw a sefardi Sefer Torah. I remember going to Chaim Berlin for Hakafos on Friday afternoon, erev shabbos Braishis, late in afternoon. I did this for many years. One year on erev Shmini Atzeres, when I had plans to go to Bklyn, I got a call from friends, J and B, a brother and sister, who lived in a small town in Jersey which was more of a spiritual midbar than my town and on the spur of the moment, I cancelled my Bklyn plans and told them to come to us for Yom Tov.

Remembering a few Simchas Torahs since I'm in Baltimore. I remember the Simchas Torah while engaged. 2 weeks before our wedding. I was sitting in Glen Avenue, looking down at Hakafos from the Ezras Nashim and kvelling, looking at my future hubby. I remember the year(s?) they closed off Park Heights Avenue between Glen and the JCC, for hakafos in the street. I remember the year my daughter #2 was born 2 days after Simchas Torah. That year my hubby hurt his foot on Shmini Atzeres and everyone was sure we were in Sinai Hospital when we didn't go to hakafos. I remember the many years my daughters went down to Norfolk, VA to help make Simchas Torah there. I felt they were following in their Zaydie Y's footsteps, helping to spread Yiddishkeit.
Now I must stop and go cook so we will have a simchas yom tov this year.

Have a very wonderful Yom Tov and may today, Hoshana Rabbah bring everyone a "piska tova."

Lack of Manners

I had to pick up granddaughter #4 at the JCC today. She is enrolled in their preschool. I was trying to round the corner in front of the Early Childhood entrance when lo and behold I was stuck behind a car which was double parked. The driver was easy to spot, standing near the doorway because she kept looking at her car and at me. There might have been enough room for me to pass her car but I didn't want to chance scratching her door with my minivan. There was room in front of the car she double parked near. Why are people inconsiderate?

Potential Chilul Hashem

Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel I was in a situation which might have been a potential chilul Hashem and it really bothered me.

I was shopping at Target with my 3 oldest granddaughters - our chol Hamoed "trip" since both mothers were unavailable, one working, one laid up with a bad back. It was bubby's turn to "entertain".

I had a pretty full cart. "Hello Kitty" comforters that I promised Gila and Eden for their birthdays in September (no, I'm not lazy, they were out of them when I went closer to their birthdays), Eliana's purchases with her bat mitzvah present - Target gift card, a big box of new pots and pans which I need desperately and various odds and ends which probably added up to more than 10 items.

There were many cashiers available and I got on line behind someone, when the "10 or less" cashier motioned for me to come over. EVen if I had less than 10 (don't think so) The first 3 items took up the whole check out counter. The line was empty when I got on but as we were checking out, the line grew and I received dirty looks from people. I'm almost sure one woman behind was thinking "Oh those frummies, with their shaitels, and lots of kids, just taking advantage of the empty checkout at 10 or less."

I really felt bad. Lesson: we always have to hope our behavior doesn't cause a Chilul Hashem even if we are not the cause of our behavior.

Why so loud??

Just came home from the annual TA sponsored Chol Hamoed concert. This year the Yeshiva Boys' Choir and Eli Gerstner. Question: why does it have to be so so loud?? Moadim l'simcha to everyone.

Sukkos Remembered

Sukkos brings back many memories growing up. The most pronounced memory is not having our own sukkah. As I mentioned in my Yom Kippur post I grew up in "concrete city"...a 13 story Co-op building in Queens, NY, surrounded by many other 13 story Co-op buildings and many blocks of 6 story city housing apt buildings. No place to build a Sukkah. So Sukkos was an adventure. We would eat, along with 4-5 other frum families (the only frum families) from the shul. My mother A"H was an expert in making meals that didn't need to be kept warm. One of my favorite Sukkos side dishes is cranberry sauce, mixed with mandarin oranges, and canned grapefruit slices (drained of liquid, of course).

We used to shlep our food down 4 flights of steps and over to the shul in one of those "N.Y. wagons" - the kind all the old ladies walk up and down the streets of NY with. There was a comaraderie among the families and in some ways it was fun. The second night of Sukkos there was always a "Simchas Beis Hashoevah" where all the congregants came. It didn't matter if you were frum or not, whether it was a workday or not (Yom tov not withstanding, they worked the next day). It was great as a teenager as we always stood outside the sukkah socializing.

I remember many sukkos in college when my good friend DZ came to spend Sukkos with us, as she had even less, growing up in a nonobservant home in the boondocks of L.I. I'll never forget the shock which registered on DH's face when he came for Sukkos when we were engaged - and how we spent Sukkos. There was real mesiras nefesh to eat in a Sukkah. Much different than his mom's sukkah where she passed the food into the sukkah from a window in the kitchen.
Once married, and in a house our first sukkah was a 6'x7' canvas job which went on our grass. Not very comfortable, nor very conducive to sitting in for many hours. I remember the first year in our house when my parents A"H came for Yom Tov. It rained the entire week. We ate in the Sukkah, maybe once.

I remember visiting a neighbor's sukkah that year. It was decorated beautifully with all the childrens' artwork and projects. Since DD was only a year old when we moved, I cried...when will we ever have a decorated sukkah? Needless to say, over the years we had DD#1 and DD#2's beautiful decorations + grandchildrens' decorations.

When we moved into the present house I said, Now I want a real sukkah. So we sat down with DD's blocks and cardboard, and basically I designed it. We hired DS, a friend's son who helped DH build it (or the other way around, DH helped DS build it). It had 2 windows. It had a door. It was a pleasure just sitting in it.

We entertained many in this beautiful Sukkah. I remember having a "singles" meal many years ago. B"H I think all of those singles are married with many children of their own (some grandchildren even). One Sukkos evening we heard an alarm go off. It seemed in the distance. We had some of our "bochrim" over that night. Well, we didn't check where it was and all of a sudden, a policeman sticks his head at the window. It was OUR alarm. He checked through the whole house. Unfortunately, he left EVERY light on in the entire house. We had to sleep with all the lights all of Yom Tov.

We are at a different stage now. After 25 or so years of shlepping the heavy heavy boards DH said, we are not putting up a sukkah. How many boys helped DH put up our Sukkah! There were many over the years, including for the last 13 years our dear SIL's. Now they have their own to put up, so we will share theirs. It's not the same and I miss it. I hope the BB family, in whose home our beautiful wooden sukkah now resides will have many wonderful memories in it.
Chag Sameach to all.

Yom Kippur remembered

As I have written I grew up in this small section of Queens...not many religious people..but a filled shul on Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur or, as it was called back then the "High Holidays" or was it the "High Holydays"? I don't remember. Shul was packed for Kol Nidre. My father, the Rabbi, always gave a Kol Nidrei Sermon...

I remember being really small, going home early with my mother...and she tucked my sister and I into bed, Yom Kippur night folding the blanket under my feet...it was warm and cozy and I taught it to my grandchildren who beg me to cover them the "Bubby S... way." Everytime I do, I think of Yom Kippur.

I remember being 11 years old and hiding with my best friend Judy F...in the last row of shul because we were fasting, much to the dismay of our parents...and only showed our faces again after tekiyas sh0far to brag: we fasted the whole day!! I don't think it has ever been as easy a fast as the year before my bas mitzvah!!

Another Yom Kippur...We lived in a co-op...13 or 14 stories high...we lived on the 4th floor and had to walk down 4 flights of concrete steps and then walk the 2 blocks to shul..well one Yom Kippur morning I fell down a flight of those concrete steps (ouch)..it was hard sitting in shul all day that year.

We never went home for the "break"...just hung out in Aba's office...except the year, when I was in H.S. and Rhoda, a friend from out of town who was going to school in NY came for Yom Kippur...then we went home for the "break".

I'll never forget the contests we had with the boys across the mechitza for who could stand the whole neila...I don't remember much about the spiritual aspects of Yom Kippur but these are a few of my Yom Kippur memories...

After getting married...I remember being deathly sick my first Yom Kippur months after getting married...that "deathly sickness" resulted in DD#1 about 8 months later!! I remember my father in law trying to get me to break my fast on a meat meal...I almost puked at the table...

Two years later, while home with my year + daugther I remember people coming home from shul saying there was war in Israel..the Yom Kippur War had broken out...for many years DH davened for the Amud at various minyanim...

I remember so clearly Rabbi Brown A"H's crying during shmoneh esray, the years we davened in his minyan...so many memories ... and the comfort of hearing the same tunes year after year at our present shul...and the beauty of hearing the entire shul davening together k'ish echad b'lev echad...

May it truly be a good peaceful healthy happy year for us all in 5767.